The "Affluenza" teen who killed 4 people is missing

"Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero" (sampsonite24) 12/21/2015 at 10:30 • Filed to: None

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I’m sure prosecutors are wishing they had a stronger case to put him away back when they had the chance

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I guess he missed a probation hearing after video of him playing drinking games at a party surfaced which is a probation violation. Seems him and his mother have disappeared. God I hope they find this punk ass brat and lock him up

Delorean monster truck for your time

crowmolly > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 12/21/2015 at 10:33

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EL_ULY > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 12/21/2015 at 10:34

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“affluenza” is pretty much as bad as ISIS. Fuck that shit. Kill 4 innocent people and get away with it because of wealth. No pinches mamen cabron!

Your boy, BJR > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 12/21/2015 at 10:35

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Hopefully they fell down an elevator shaft.

spanfucker retire bitch > EL_ULY 12/21/2015 at 10:39

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I want to know how all the jurors all agreed that “yep, that’s a totally valid defense; makes sense to me!”

We had equally stupid ass jurors in a court case here in Buffalo a couple of years ago where a doctor ran over a girl and killed her while he was blind stinking drunk. He got off on the defense that he “had no idea” that he ran a little girl over, therefore, he couldn’t be convicted of vehicular manslaughter, or be charged with covering up a crime.

Because he was too drunk to know what he hit. Like, seriously. Fuck that. Those jurors were retarded.

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > EL_ULY 12/21/2015 at 10:41

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But he can’t understand the consequences of his actions, so therefore we can’t ever let there be any consequences! Otherwise he might actually realize what a little shit he is and turn things around...

Master Cylinder > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 12/21/2015 at 10:42

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Yeah, I hope they find him and toss him in jail for a good long time. And I hope they convict his mother of something for helping him escape, too. Hell, it’s probably a safe bet to lock up everyone who had anything to do with this stain’s upbringing.

EL_ULY > spanfucker retire bitch 12/21/2015 at 10:42

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jariten1781 > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 12/21/2015 at 10:47

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Oh...he’s toast. Case has been turned over to the Marshals...and those dudes don’t fuck around. They’ll find him and he’ll be serving the rest of those ten years behind bars.

Plus from now till forever he’s going to be held without bond for whatever little or large stuff he gets into since he’s now a proven flight risk. Even shit like misdemeanor driving violations (after he gets out in a decade) would be a trip to stay in jail until he goes to trial.

EL_ULY > Your boy, BJR 12/21/2015 at 10:50

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“shaft”

McMike > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 12/21/2015 at 10:52

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They took off right after his last probabtion meeting. They went looking for him and found an empty house.

The sheriff’s office started searching for Couch after he missed an appointment with his probation officer on Tuesday (Dec 15). Officials went to the house where he was allegedly staying with his mom, and found the place empty — save for a pinball machine, according to Reuters.

How long can they run?

There is a $5K reward, but I would turn in that smug bastard for free.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > McMike 12/21/2015 at 10:54

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Can I call dibs on the abandoned pinball machine?

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > jariten1781 12/21/2015 at 10:58

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He’s still a minor though. Not sure he'll end up in prison long term. That’s probably why he took flight when he did. But, I honestly don’t understand why he’d leave. He got a pretty sweet deal of 10 years of parole considering his crime. How hard is it really to go see a parole officer? I have no idea because I actually follow the law, but I have to think it sure beats spending that time in a juvenile detention center, where he belongs.

jariten1781 > spanfucker retire bitch 12/21/2015 at 10:58

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IIRC it had nothing to do with a jury. The whole thing came up during the sentencing phase after he was convicted (or plead guilty, don’t remember) of every single charge they had them on minus two intoxication assaults that they declined to charge. Prosecutors asked for 20 years prison, the defense argued with 2 years rehab due to the affluenza crap, and the judge split the baby and did 10 years probation + no access to alcohol or drugs + indefinite lockdown in a state hospital for rehab (which apparently he cleared...didn’t work out so well).

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Master Cylinder 12/21/2015 at 10:59

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You know, I wondered about the mother. Last I saw she was being treated as a missing person. Maybe he did something with the mom and took off? I imagine they'll find him somewhere in Mexico, if I had to guess.

jariten1781 > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! 12/21/2015 at 11:03

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Condition of his sentence was no contact with alcohol. A video came out of him playing beer pong. He violated his probation meaning he’d have to go in for the time remaining if it was proven.

I’m not sure about Texas, but in many places if you violate a juvenile probation as an adult (he’s over 18 now) it goes back to juvenile court where the judge will summarily transfer it to adult court unless there’s extenuating circumstances. Once in adult court you lose all the minor protections.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > jariten1781 12/21/2015 at 11:11

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The news report said he was still a minor. That’s what I get for listening to the news. You’d think they would fact check.

In that case, yeah, he better run. He's not getting off so lightly when they haul his ass back to jail.

spanfucker retire bitch > jariten1781 12/21/2015 at 11:16

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Guess I didn’t follow as closely as I thought I did.

Master Cylinder > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! 12/21/2015 at 11:34

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Somewhere nice and expensive, I’m sure. Although the image of him trying to live in the bush to evade detection is pretty delicious too.

WiscoProud > EL_ULY 12/21/2015 at 11:58

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The courts have always sided with the rich who can buy lawyers and find loopholes that evade normal people. What pisses me off on this one, is that instead of that, they just said "he's innocent because he's wealthy", and let it go. The judge that okayed that defense should be disbarred.

WiscoProud > McMike 12/21/2015 at 11:58

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That guy has a supremely punchable face

Bad Idea Hat > spanfucker retire bitch 12/21/2015 at 13:15

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The judge sentenced him lightly. He was found guilty (not sure if bench trial or jury trial), but the judge is that one who gave him such a light sentence.

jariten1781 > spanfucker retire bitch 12/21/2015 at 13:22

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Yeah, it wasn’t nearly as dumb (don’t get me wrong, it was still total bullshit, but just not as sensationalistically stupid) as the news articles played it up. The defense expert argued that the kid never learned personal responsibility because his parents coddled him and either used their position in the town or their money to get him out of trouble. He didn’t argue the kid should be straight up let off, but instead be removed from his parent’s custody and banned from seeing them or receiving their support for two years...in the mean-time he’d either be in monitored or foster care by the state.

His opinion was that the forced separation and removal of his support structure would be more beneficial to preventing recidivation than what ended up happening (still receiving coddling from his parents while being monitored by the state via probation or jail). He basically stated that his parents would continue to protect him on probation so the kid wouldn’t learn anything and continue to be a risk to society once that time ended or even while he was on probation; or, if he was sent to jail, it would be even worse because upon returning to society he’d be 100% reliant on his parents who had already proven they were incapable of raising a good member of the community. He argued that completing the clean break would allow the kid to see other perspectives and perhaps learn that being a shit without mommy and daddy around wasn’t the best way to live.

Since he ended up running off with mom, sounds like the expert was on to something.

NJAnon > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 12/22/2015 at 00:34

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Um, I wouldn’t want Dog the bounty hunter looking for him. No more “spectacle” for this kid. Just go find him without any drama and toss him in jail. Its already bad enough that the justice system is allowed to be sold the notion of “if you have money you can almost literally get away with anything because perpetual technicalities”.